Another wednesday

I miss you love. No words.

Waiting with the worst of intentions. Who. No one. You save yourself or you drown. is the worst/ best in your life? Bet l dont remember

Its snowing in my head. Sad people star at walls. And I cant help smirking. There must be something wrong with me. Who does that.

My vampire

Vampires and werewolves don't really live forever, except in the depths of my imagination. With piercing intuitiveness looking into a soul that stares back with emptiness. Perhaps he could read my thoughts. But why does he not rise again to be my dark prince forever? Why must he only truly live on inside me, rather than by my side?
I say I knew what I was getting into, but i did not. I deceived myself, thinking I was the one in control of my heart, but after a time my heart no longer belonged to me. My dark side made sick and tasteless jokes. My light side cries several times a day.

My Best Friend

Funny. Generous. Sweet. Smart. Sexy. He's lived an amazing life and has a story that deserves to be told. But, it is not mine to tell.

But I too have a story to tell. He's definitely a large part of it though. We've been together for a little less than 1/3 of my life. Not only are we friends and lovers, and a married couple. We're roommates. I have countless roommate tales about him, but I think one of my favorite was the night he sleepwalked right out of the apartment. He pounded on the door for a couple of hours in the vain hope that I would hear him through my earplugs. Eventually I had a nagging sense that there was noise in the apartment and I realized where he was. I felt awful. But I still kinda think it's funny.

New Start For Me

My life is comically sad. It's as if I were Hitler in a past life. Pets are dead or dying. Debt and bills are piled up. My husband is deathly ill and this next year will face some even bigger problems. I'm good at my job, but am concerned about the state of the company and haven't had a raise in two years. My apartment is tiny, expensive, and overrun with roaches. I'm extremely overweight with high blood pressure, and I drink too much. But I don't think it's healthy to focus on the negative (as if healthy had ever played in a decision I've ever made). So, to help me find some balance and improve my outlook, I started going to therapy. My therapist says my life is overly sad; great. Thanks. But, she did recently say I should look for something I could do just for me. And I immediately thought of my sadly neglected blog.

I started this puppy with the intention of creating an outlook for my writing. But life seems to have conspired against me to offer reasons why I should not keep this thing up to date. So, here and now I plan to renew my dedication to this blog. I may use it as more of diary now than a place to pontificate on life, and to show off interesting photos from around NYC. But I will do my best to shield those in my life from exposure. And while it stings a little for a publishing professional to think about no one reading my work, I plan to come to turns with that. Truth first.

Bliss Not Ignorance

In 1742, Thomas Gray wrote, "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." For some, no truer words were ever written. It's easy to be ignorant, willfully or not. But, bliss would seem to indicate a heavenly state where everything is roses and unicorns. But, as our history would seem to say, ignorance leads to fear. Ignorance leads to intolerance. Ignorance leads to subjugation of others less powerful. Its caused witch hunts and worship of golden calves. Its created cycles of hatred that are almost impossible to shake. I saw this sign on 3rd Street and 2nd Avenue and it stopped me dead in my tracks. How wonderful to have this erroneous phrase finally put to rest. So I share this sentiment with you today and leave you with this imperative. Learn. Learn everything you can about every subject you can. Be a dabbler. Because ignorance should not be a state of being you can hide behind, and it's certainly not paradise.